Thoughts, Feelings and Mood - a blog by Ashutosh N. Matai

Ages ago, the greatest of humans were those with an astoundingly fit body. From Greek heroes to European generals, from Japanese ronin to American strongmen, the overture to a person's character was determined by their appearance and strength. However, as times progressed, we evolved into a differently-gifted species. We went from being the alpha predator to the alpha creator. Our society now prefers Rodin's Thinker over the Spartan Ares as an ideal personality. As such, some of our foremost creators have either grown exceedingly obese or remarkably scraggy. I have waged a long battle in this regard, sometimes having experienced a sudden rise in body weight and sometimes being troubled by the insufficiency of the same. Therefore, I feel strongly that we should not ignore our bodies in our pursuit of knowledge and enlightenment. Over two attempts at weight loss and two at weight gain, one of which was an exclusively muscle-gain endeavour, I have come to the same con...

This one's going to shed a bit more on my parents and my upbringing. Born to a pair of teachers, I spent my childhood in two places in Mumbai before moving to Navi Mumbai. Born in Chembur, my parents brought me up in government living quarters which my grandma's job bestowed. We weren't dirt poor, my parents had a strong educational background and ambition. But the quality that they emphasized above all was perseverance. Perseverance Dad had it rough. Raised by a single mother who worked at BARC to support her family, he was taken care of by his maternal grandparents. He had a boisterous childhood playing cricket and being the average underdog in the classroom until he decided to get serious. He didn't have much of an option anyway. My grandma lived with her son, her parents and her brothers (she had 5) in an apartment with low rent. Eventually, they bought a flat in Nerul but lost it in a financial crisis. They could get by, but the dream of living like ...

One of the heaviest words out there is 'Regret'. All my life I've tried to avoid doing things that I would regret in the future. Nobody wants that kind of burden throughout their life. No-one wants to have perturbations and have their own idle mind become an entity to dread from. Nobody wants regret. I certainly don't. Which is why I wish I'd done a better job. I regret taking things easy, letting good things slide out of my grasp solely due to fearful apprehension or lack of effort. Lack of effort cost me good grades once upon a time. Fearful apprehension cost me my chance at love. Long ago, well, not so long ago, I really liked someone. Let's call her Jane, for the sake of simplicity. A really creative soul, Jane and I met under weird circumstances. She was smart, had a wonderful taste in music and was patient and caring. I know she still is. A combination of wishful thinking and a castle in the sky portrayed by a few friends led me into one awkward s...