One of the heaviest words out there is 'Regret'.
All my life I've tried to avoid doing things that I would regret in the future. Nobody wants that kind of burden throughout their life. No-one wants to have perturbations and have their own idle mind become an entity to dread from. Nobody wants regret. I certainly don't. Which is why I wish I'd done a better job.
I regret taking things easy, letting good things slide out of my grasp solely due to fearful apprehension or lack of effort. Lack of effort cost me good grades once upon a time. Fearful apprehension cost me my chance at love.
Long ago, well, not so long ago, I really liked someone. Let's call her Jane, for the sake of simplicity. A really creative soul, Jane and I met under weird circumstances. She was smart, had a wonderful taste in music and was patient and caring. I know she still is.
A combination of wishful thinking and a castle in the sky portrayed by a few friends led me into one awkward situation after another. At first, I didn't really care about any of it - I knit myself up pretty tight after past experiences, but Jane felt different. Jane made me feel anxious if I knew I was going to meet her later that day, or nervous if I was ever waiting up on her. But when we did talk, Jane made me feel calm.
And it was on one such occasion on a waiting bench, where I was waiting for her to talk about some issue that I witnessed something enchanting. I saw her smile.
I'd seen her smile before that, but somehow, that day was different. Although our conversation was a bit more serious than I prefered, I was entranced, completely hooked. So I swore that day, I swore to myself that I'd let her go.
Absolute lunacy, eh?
But I did her get away. I did not put on my charming behaviour, I tried to keep conversation solely over text so that I would not subconsciously attract her. I spoke to her every now and then after that. I could tell it worked - I never saw that smile again. I mean, Jane did smile. It was never the smile that I witnessed that fateful day, sitting in the waiting area in front of the principal's office.
All other regrets, I've undone. Some, I made my peace with, others I worked hard to undo. I let Jane slip away. I did not even allow myself to try. I knew I was aiming to be thousands of miles apart from her, so I feared the day I would have to end it if something did happen between us. There's not a thing I fear on this earth, save losing people. Maybe she'll read this one day and know what really happened, why I was always awkward after that day.
I regret losing my chance at romance. I tell myself that I did it to avoid distractions so that I can live with my decision. My little crush has faded away since then, but I'll always regret letting Jane go.
All my life I've tried to avoid doing things that I would regret in the future. Nobody wants that kind of burden throughout their life. No-one wants to have perturbations and have their own idle mind become an entity to dread from. Nobody wants regret. I certainly don't. Which is why I wish I'd done a better job.
I regret taking things easy, letting good things slide out of my grasp solely due to fearful apprehension or lack of effort. Lack of effort cost me good grades once upon a time. Fearful apprehension cost me my chance at love.
Long ago, well, not so long ago, I really liked someone. Let's call her Jane, for the sake of simplicity. A really creative soul, Jane and I met under weird circumstances. She was smart, had a wonderful taste in music and was patient and caring. I know she still is.
A combination of wishful thinking and a castle in the sky portrayed by a few friends led me into one awkward situation after another. At first, I didn't really care about any of it - I knit myself up pretty tight after past experiences, but Jane felt different. Jane made me feel anxious if I knew I was going to meet her later that day, or nervous if I was ever waiting up on her. But when we did talk, Jane made me feel calm.
And it was on one such occasion on a waiting bench, where I was waiting for her to talk about some issue that I witnessed something enchanting. I saw her smile.
I'd seen her smile before that, but somehow, that day was different. Although our conversation was a bit more serious than I prefered, I was entranced, completely hooked. So I swore that day, I swore to myself that I'd let her go.
Absolute lunacy, eh?
But I did her get away. I did not put on my charming behaviour, I tried to keep conversation solely over text so that I would not subconsciously attract her. I spoke to her every now and then after that. I could tell it worked - I never saw that smile again. I mean, Jane did smile. It was never the smile that I witnessed that fateful day, sitting in the waiting area in front of the principal's office.
All other regrets, I've undone. Some, I made my peace with, others I worked hard to undo. I let Jane slip away. I did not even allow myself to try. I knew I was aiming to be thousands of miles apart from her, so I feared the day I would have to end it if something did happen between us. There's not a thing I fear on this earth, save losing people. Maybe she'll read this one day and know what really happened, why I was always awkward after that day.
I regret losing my chance at romance. I tell myself that I did it to avoid distractions so that I can live with my decision. My little crush has faded away since then, but I'll always regret letting Jane go.
Edit: Man, it's not about a person, it's about the concept of regret. What I mean here is, everyone has regrets, and we have to live with them. Most of our regrets are a consequence of our own choices and actions, and it is our responsibility to live with them.
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