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'Fore-oh-fore

 A fork in the road, three ways to go

The rapturous traveler seeks to forge his own

This path you tread, is but a mirage

An empty husk; A hollow facade

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Psyche

Thoughts, wretched thoughts, Why strike me down so? Keep me awake, keep me aghast Thy torment is unparalleled. Emotion, dissolute emotion, A man must avoid at costs unspoken. Tear my walls, churn my gut, Thy burn has no soothing. Impulse, Desire and Yearning, O sisters three, mistresses of my nights, Much too fickle, reinless and free, What remedy cures thy sting? Maladies of the mind, Incorrigible disorders of the heart, Chain me up and rip me to shreds But do not let me succumb to hope. Hope, O merciful lady of mine, Blissful ignorance I crave from thee. Afraid, terrified, horror-stricken I am. Capricious thou are, I know not when Thy nature be true, or false, I know not, I cower from thee, distrustful. And yet it is precisely to hope that I cling, I flirt, frolic and find myself fond with thee .

Lamhaa: Words of Unspokenness

I think I have an obsession with poetry, with words that touch the soul. I long to write my masterpiece, a few words that strike you for a moment when you're in your most solemn state of mind. I may still be a novice when it comes to words, for I can never seem to say the right words when the moment calls for it, but I do hope I can still touch souls. So here's an attempt at wanting to touch souls by sharing a glimpse of what my very own says. In Hindi: बिखरी बिखरी सी लग रही है ज़िन्दगी  सहमी सी हवाएँ ठहर गयी है अब यहाँ  इन सहमी हवाओं, बिखरे ज़िंदगानी को गुज़र जाने दो  खो जाने दो इस लम्हे को  और पलभर में छू लो अपनी आज़ादी को  कैद से है लबों पर बोल मेरे  कैद है इस पल में साँसें हमारी  ये कैसा मोड़ है, कैसी साज़िश है  जोह ख़ामोशी में केह देती है नाजाने कितनी बातें  है ही कितना वक़्त अब? इस वक़्त के दरमियाँ को हम आबाद कर चले  जी चले हम पलभर में सदियाँ हज़ार  अब जी चले हम, हम बीत चले।  In Hin...

This is it

Hi! I'm Ashutosh Matai, a 20-something-year-old that enjoys programming, reading and tackling problems. Yep, you read that right - I enjoy facing problems. No, I'm not a masochist (laughs nervously), but I am someone who has seen a handful of things go down. I've been under crippling depression and anxiety, I've lost sight of my life and seen a lot of family drama. Suffice to say, in my 20-something-years of existence, I have truly learned. So here's my two cents, accompanied by the occasional poem. I hope you take something of my experiences and make your own lives better, for you, dear reader, are in for a hell of a ride.